Certified Poem Addict

guard my heart, shield my soul
oh my dear self, keep thy control
as the pain ascends
and bursts out in the open
guard my heart, shield my soul
please my dear self, keep thy control

hope may have left, and you in bereft
your invincibility had already been patent
so smile amidst the inevitable dire
eventually you'd get through the wire



1707moveon112108fr

as these regrets chase me in the darkness
i wait for the rain to come and wash me
as i save myself from this foolishness
i wonder if i can still reclaim the sanity

so let the rain fall despite the silence
it is its tour de force in this broken world
let the rain fall and revert my existence
so that from these odds I would be hurdled

another cycle, another history repeating
yet the learning has never been grasped
perhaps the reason for my heart breaking
when will the yearning be clasped?

hush, my rain; yes my dear, hush
it was not my intention to fall to the trap
yes dear rain, i will refrain from being slush
just help me get out from this mishap

it's the quarter now and i have to calm down
it is no use drying my eyes with these tears
i should let go of the hurt and get rid of the frown
it's time to burn now the hopes and the fears

so where do i go and what should i do?
these are the questions i prefer to unshackle
i have gone tired of the blue
i am now leaving the pinnacle


171414rain'squarter110731

Raincheck please, raincheck.

As this head of mine are filled with questions,
Slowly I am devoured by my self-preservations.

Thus here I am beseeching thee an inquiry:
If affection and destiny would not coincide,
I ask thee --- where dost thou think I should abide?

As I let these tears of mine wash away yours,
Would you care to accompany me in this course?
But why is it that you are fading away from me,
Tell me, is this really how it should meant to be?

Oh no! You just did not know ---
Thoughts of you are now imprinting a smile on my face,
A memory which I don't think I can dare to erase.
It may be so senseless, yet I think it would be my grace -
To be with you, together with me, in that sweet embrace.

But raincheck dear, I beg thee raincheck.
Why am I retreating, I can sense a coming wreck.
I can hear it within, I can hear it loud and clear,
My cynicism's surfacing inflaming the fear.
Oh why, oh why? 'Tis horror is chasing me.
I wonder if I can bear it; let me see, let me see.

With these vexations, I pause and I stop.
I don't think it's possible, I fall and I drop.
Was it you, was it me, or was the feeling just a fancy
It's time for me, I guess, to let go of this fantasy.
So I decided to walk towards my solitude,
Praying and wishing for my own fortitude:
Sooner or later, I will be granted beatitude.

As I trudge alone this rocky journey,
Along the road I have found a key.
At first I was wounded then I was terrified,
How could I ever abandon the little of my pride?
So I asked for Death to be mine for a while
So that I can be freed but not from this life
Liberated from the assumptions that I've been breathing for this time
Assumptions that will surely bring me to my own demise

With messed up thoughts and messed up emotions
I am too ashamed to look at my ruined reflections
I have committed a crime which is too grim for mercy
A crime I have committed which now pulls me back to misery
So this is the phase where I hate myself much
How could I ever concede with the touch?
I have betrayed myself, an act so deleterious
An embarassment that is too grave and serious
Oh no! This is too dangerous!

So raincheck dear, raincheck.
Lest my body will be laid down on that tormented deck.
I plea for the rain to come and be hurry
For only the rain can wash away this idiocy.
As I gather myself from this tremendous fall,
I am now more aware that I can't really have it all.
It's sad, true, absolutely catastrophic!
But no, no --- there will never be a magic.
To my fateful life, save me but not from the tragedy
But from the certainty of my preordained folly.


214805Raincheckforandtwenty110727

as glum as the weather
how can it be?
the feeling of despair
strengthens the melancholy

tis already a familiar phase
a road by now had been taken
only this time is a new face
perhaps a lesson would be ascertain

with this, i breathe my sigh
for soon it'll be outdone
oh when the pain is drawing nigh
but no, it will never go beyond



203057myinsecurities200711

What is more tragic
Than being judged
For what you think
Not even the logic
Could ever budge
What's on the brink
When one refuses to see
What is behind reality
And all its mystery
Just leave it be
And let it be
For it is the destiny
When superficialities encompass
The perspective of a being
Blinded by the worldliness
One could never surpass
The obstacles of living
In profound senselessness
If one does not conform
With the standards and the rules
Set by human perception
It is not the eye of the storm
That really pulls
The dull convention
What is unfathomable
Will be and always will be
Better left unanswered
One will soon be able
Find the veracity
Of what has been tampered


300310judged1148rm5kfrh

the riddle of resolution
left me one question
was it worth the risk?
marked by brisk

the wonders of romantically inclined
with their emotions declined
was it the work of magic
that led them to tragic

wandering souls then lovers
she cries while he quivers
yet it was not enough
for it could be a bluff

the pain, i reckon
might be the reason
that holds them
in their stem


0324amazed181109dr

emptiness haunts
as reality flaunts
when will i learn
stop the yearn?
nothing’s new
still in grayed hue
insecurities widening
courage faltering
yet…
the rain continues
smearing their views
the rain comforts
reorganizing all sorts
when did the rain halt
after the storm’s assault
left me crying over the rainbow
where will i go?
can you see it?
can you feel it?
can you hear it?
can you sense it?
the rain piercing my heart
tormenting the part
is it self-inflicted?
or thought-incited?
let me weep in silent
as the rain could not prevent
let me die in secret
while the rain is not set



0854raintorments310709

your cold shoulders
giving me the chills
your replies in terse
undoing all the seals

you have pulled the trigger
now you are holding back
you left me to hover
until i finally lost track

or

could

it

be

that...


my cold shoulders
gave you the chills
my replies in terse
have undone the seals

but i tried to reach out,
yet you make me felt unseen
i have even let go of the doubt
hence, my pain is very keen

so i wish...

for the rain to fall
to heal my heart
to lose it all
for a brand new start

so for the moment...
i will just...

drop a tear
to wash away the pain
embrace the fear
until i meet the rain

goodbye sweet love
'til then
goodbye dear love
never again

i drop
rain fall


185221strainfall210309

I have written this poem the night after having a fun time with team Oakland Athletics. I don't know what prompted me to write this when I was feeling so cheerful before I came home. Few days after, we received a disheartening and saddening news from our team captain --- he will be transferred to another team. Although we were supposed to be proud and happy for him because it was actually a promotion but we just could not stop feeling so lonely knowing that he will be leaving us.

eventually, our paths will part
eventually, our tears will fall
eventually, we'll seek for the start
eventually, we'll lose it all


eventually, the longing will fade
eventually, the fate will be accepted
eventually, we'll forget the shade
eventually, we'll become wretched


the irony of meeting you in me
i wished for the world to stop
the irony of living in reality
i wished for the rain to drop


the pain of building friendship
the pain of building love
the pain that we have to keep
the pain of the above


eventually, everything will pass
eventually, the lesson will be learn
eventually, we will surpass
eventually, we will be stern


110209eventually1257

comforter

when the rain fill the holes
what would become of me?

not loneliness nor desolation
not even reclusion neither isolation
shall bring me redemption

the chilling winds of the rain
increasing the strain
will they be able to recognize me
should reality unmasks my identity

do forgive me
i am not what i am supposed to be
the rain had failed to cover me
stripping me off my little dignity
which i left hanging in mystery

would it be just
if i blame it all to the wind?
or how about the rain,
my comforter
my consoler
who deserted me
in the time of my need

the rain illuminates
casting a gloomy shadow
the veracity it dictates
is being hoed by the bow
strangling me to death
depriving me of my fantasy
my fantasy of reality
my fantasy of existence
my fantasy of innocence

it is nonsense
everything is nothing but meaningless
am i not the student
of the teacher who is wise but powerless
let alone gullibility
let alone luxury
let alone immaturity
let alone invincibility

can you hear the pitter-patter
of my cries of hopes and anger
can you see the tears
of my selfishness and fears
it is hard to accept
yet acceptance is the last piece
for the puzzle of bliss
but completion is a dream
of the unruffled stream

the clouds of dark met the light
but the rain hadn't stopped
go on with eternal fight
and let the rain be cupped
with remorse and regret
breathe and i shall be freed
from this anxiety i bleed
pour down but don't wash away
let my pathetic traces stay
as it is my greatest masterpiece


0129rain'smasterpiece281207lr

thoughts tremble
fears nimble
past haunting
life daunting

where does your pride hide?
when everything seems not to coincide
was it really over when it is not
is giving up all you got?

along the restrained menagerie
you slip in the pit of jeopardy
compromising your dignity
just to fit in in the world of hypocrisy

faith shaken
body beaten
blind-sided
ways divided

where does your conscience go?
when your paces are becoming slow
was deviation your last alternative
is that how you wanted to live?

underneath the black sunshine
you gave in to the false divine
forgetting the promises of eternity
just to get on with temporal glee

frustrations flooding
disappointments oozing
heavens decrying
world tempting

where does your acumen lies?
when your sound judgment shies
was concealing your final resort
is dying your real comfort?

beyond the forlorn horizon
you walked in with full desparation
accepting the doomed state
just to end up the unfinished fate


1517defeated271207kb

.....

silence

.....

a sudden blast
disturbed the crowd

.....

silence

.....

she walks in
an empty wall

.....

silence

.....

strange faces
inducing fears

.....

silence

.....

she stepped out
all broke down

.....

silence

.....



1054alienation011207mgo2f

Dear Diary,
I was crying in my sleep last night
Someone broke my heart and i can't think right
I should have known I've been fool from the start
Now my world has fallen apart

Dear Diary,
I've been thinking of him everyday
He blocks my memory in every way
People began wondering if i am okay
I fake a smile and pretended to be gay

Dear Diary,
I couldn't believe this is happening to me
I haven't even seen him in my reality
How could this be, please help me please
My mind and my heart couldn't be at ease

Dear Diary,
I am now throwing my tears away
Yet the pain remains and forever it will stay
The anguish and agony is killing me softly
And it's just so sad cause my suffering he couldn't see

Dear Diary,
I have realized that i have to let go
Even though it hurts me but my heart needs so
I have cried a river and my tears seem to linger
But i know i'll be okay for forever's not forever

Dear Diary,
The rain's been pouring for a week now
And this time i am ready to take my bow
The show is over and i have to move on
I know it would be hard but i have to carry on

Dear Diary,
I heard Nina singing a song for me
"Someday, someone's gonna love me
The way i wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day, i'll forget about you
You see, i won't even miss you
Someday, someday"
And now, i am set for a new day



090107diarist1425br
171207revised1122da

the rain fell
as i fell
'twas a mistake
for heaven's sake

stupid cranial
on denial
realization occured
cardio injured

the sky cried
i died
a tear dropped
hand cupped

false alarm
lonely swarm
face beamed
unskimmed

rainendleofan1810060151

Pardon my rain,
should it fall so hard
It just got out of sane
and now is in discard

Pardon my rain
if it keeps on pouring
It does not want to be a vain
for the clouds enduring

Pardon my rain
should it get so wild
Let it not be a bane
for it is just but a child

Pardon my rain
if it stays longer
Let not your heart disdain
for in time it will be over

Pardon my rain
let it be fain
Unshackle the chain
let it not restrain

Just pardon my rain,
'til my rain no more

pardonmyrain2209060128
Founder'shallcdoymca
edited2909061400
ymcaoffice

reclusive

i am now alone
literally alone

and for this reason
i have realized a lot of things
a lot of things

i am a person of no good
there are times that all i want to do is scream
scream with all my voice
until i can scream no more

some times, all i want to do is run and fly
feel free and touch the sky
even though i am not a swimmer
i wish to swim in the ocean
and explore the beauty it possess

indeed, John Mayer is right
"I am invincible, i am invincible,
i am invincible, as long as i am alive"
and i thank God for giving me such strength
should i die, may my invincibility
be passed through to those people
who are slowly dying and feeling so hopeless

the world is a heaven
it just depends on you
it depends on me
the world is a heaven
we just need to open our eyes
and take a see
the world is a heaven as God had created it

This is not a poem whatsoever
this is just an expression of freedom
an expression of self-liberation
of self-emancipation
and breaking the rules of grammar
is just like flying with the eagles in the sky
like running with the lions in the wild
and swimming with the sharks in the sea

I am free
I am feeling wild and free
I am free
and i just love the feeling of being free
I am free
and i thank God for freeing me
I am free
and i am having the greatest time of my life
no problems, no strife

And for the last verse,
This will not be a terse
I just had finished screaming
I just had finished shouting
It's fun to be crazy
It's fun to be carried away by insanity
After composing this whatever-you-may-want-to-call-it
I will be back in the world of the "sane"
I will speak, i will talk just like them
I may act like them, but hope not to think like them

140906crazy1233h

On 09 September 2006, I was with myself feeling so lonely and worthless. Once again, I questioned the essence of my existence and then prayed for my death. I was crying so hard at the rooftop as I could no longer contain the agony my heart is bearing. I did not realize I fell asleep. I woke up at around 3 in the morning wherein I decided to go down to my bedroom. The next day, I attended a meeting for the preparation of a city-wide activity. A collaboration with SK Davao. After the meeting, which was held at The Royale House, my YMCA friends and I returned to the office for another meeting. While the meeting was going on, I received an SMS from a friend. I could not believe what I just have read. Although we've never been able to spend more time with each other after our graduation, I still considered her as one of my good friends, as she was the only one who had the courage to tell me that I don't look neat and that my clothes appear shabby because of my carelessness. Still in disbelief, Noel called the funeral home where they say her remains were laid. After which, it was confirmed that she died. I was shocked and fell speechless. She would be celebrating her 20th birthday on the 11th but she left a day sooner.

To a friend who would never be able to read this:

I didn't know:
While i was writing of death,
You were fighting with it.
Though I've got to admit,
that time was able to separate us,
however time was not able to erase
the memories we had shared together.

The last time i saw your lovely face
You were eating with your college friends
In your favorite fast food chain
You smiled; I was glad
Never knowing
That it would be the last
And seeing you would be possible no longer

Should i cry now?
Or should i just give my gregarious smile?
I don't know exactly where you are.
You're no different to a distant star.
May your soul be rest in peace
May the people you had left be at ease
Sleep now dear, sleep now deep.

Shalom old friend, shalom.
Cry no more, tears no more.
Our time right now is over,
Yet may our memories live forever.
Should we meet in another lifetime,
May we have the same regard
May our lives be still in rhyme.


shalom1009061237

Oh Rain please fall down today
Please fall down so that my pain be washed away
Let me hear you splatter on the ground
So that serenity i may found

Oh Rain please fall down today
Don't let this feeling stay
Give me freedom, give me peace
Put my being into ease

I have been gloomy for quite some time
I can't unravel the perfect rhyme
Oh please dear Rain, fall down on me
Console my weary soul, comfort me


rainII250806

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