Certified Poem Addict

as glum as the weather
how can it be?
the feeling of despair
strengthens the melancholy

tis already a familiar phase
a road by now had been taken
only this time is a new face
perhaps a lesson would be ascertain

with this, i breathe my sigh
for soon it'll be outdone
oh when the pain is drawing nigh
but no, it will never go beyond



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keep the music flowing
energy invigorating
taking back my life
out from the strife

as the lyrics hit the notes
the soul within me floats
leaving everything behind
as they retrieve my mind

letting the thought speaks out loud
letting it go against the crowd
as the music goes louder and louder
the fire in me is getting stronger and stronger

dancing to the rhythm of reality
harmony seeping into my individuality
yes, this is how it should be..
life is music, life is free!

^_^

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What is more tragic
Than being judged
For what you think
Not even the logic
Could ever budge
What's on the brink
When one refuses to see
What is behind reality
And all its mystery
Just leave it be
And let it be
For it is the destiny
When superficialities encompass
The perspective of a being
Blinded by the worldliness
One could never surpass
The obstacles of living
In profound senselessness
If one does not conform
With the standards and the rules
Set by human perception
It is not the eye of the storm
That really pulls
The dull convention
What is unfathomable
Will be and always will be
Better left unanswered
One will soon be able
Find the veracity
Of what has been tampered


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I have written this poem the night after having a fun time with team Oakland Athletics. I don't know what prompted me to write this when I was feeling so cheerful before I came home. Few days after, we received a disheartening and saddening news from our team captain --- he will be transferred to another team. Although we were supposed to be proud and happy for him because it was actually a promotion but we just could not stop feeling so lonely knowing that he will be leaving us.

eventually, our paths will part
eventually, our tears will fall
eventually, we'll seek for the start
eventually, we'll lose it all


eventually, the longing will fade
eventually, the fate will be accepted
eventually, we'll forget the shade
eventually, we'll become wretched


the irony of meeting you in me
i wished for the world to stop
the irony of living in reality
i wished for the rain to drop


the pain of building friendship
the pain of building love
the pain that we have to keep
the pain of the above


eventually, everything will pass
eventually, the lesson will be learn
eventually, we will surpass
eventually, we will be stern


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thoughts tremble
fears nimble
past haunting
life daunting

where does your pride hide?
when everything seems not to coincide
was it really over when it is not
is giving up all you got?

along the restrained menagerie
you slip in the pit of jeopardy
compromising your dignity
just to fit in in the world of hypocrisy

faith shaken
body beaten
blind-sided
ways divided

where does your conscience go?
when your paces are becoming slow
was deviation your last alternative
is that how you wanted to live?

underneath the black sunshine
you gave in to the false divine
forgetting the promises of eternity
just to get on with temporal glee

frustrations flooding
disappointments oozing
heavens decrying
world tempting

where does your acumen lies?
when your sound judgment shies
was concealing your final resort
is dying your real comfort?

beyond the forlorn horizon
you walked in with full desparation
accepting the doomed state
just to end up the unfinished fate


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i can do good
but she can do better
i have to try harder
and get her on the hood

so i tried and tried
tried and tried
until i lost my focus

i tried and tried
tried and tried
and finally lost my control

ashamed and disgraced
ending up with regret
another failure impossible to forget
another thing in cased



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every decisions we create in our head
we let go with our hands
some are born out of nowhere
while others are crafted inside the womb of a mother

every memories we cherish in our hearts
we liberate in our brain
some are designed in the mist of clouds
while others are seated in the barren grounds

we sometimes blame fate for what had occured
forgetting what we had contributed
we sometimes ignore our naivety
and conclude stupidity and impulsiveness

we sometimes overlook every dots in the pieces
thus others seem not to fit
we opt not to remember every bit of the puzzle
thinking someday it would be all complete

every path we have taken
we often lock inside a chest
some keys we have thrown away
while others we carry every day

every actions we undertook
we bring about the wind
others have become so chilling
while some have become smothering

we sometimes leave the marks on sorrow
thinking misery would be free
we sometimes despise the outcome
thus survival become wan

the darkness of the cloud
the coldness of the night
the selfishness of the tree
the insipidity of the air

we sometimes tend to regress
thinking we had actually progressed
we sometimes tend to be blinded
thinking we have been emancipated


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Dedicated to my colleagues at YMCA. The poem was written after realizing that sometimes space is important in a bond in order to make it stronger, one just have to accept it notwithstanding the pain of living life apart. Besides, friendship is not just all about being together, it's all about being one at heart despite distance.

sadness fills me in
as nostalgia breathes the air
memories we all built together
came back to me all of a sudden

sweet laughter, bitter tears
it seems not like yesteryears
broken dreams, shattered promises
we never ceased in putting back the pieces

we aimed high
we reached far
but as the time passed by
we became distant as the star

i looked back
but you weren't there
i retraced the track
and found my own despair

as you were moving on
i was drifting away
as i was feeling alone
you were dancing in gay

yet i never stopped wishing
and never failed reminiscing
but the memories we created together
is now starting to quiver

as the agony struck my heart
as i watch our worlds being torn apart
the pain i bear became excruciating
yet i smiled and began accepting

everything changes and so are we
may you find peace and serenity
may the bliss be with you as you trudge your own journey
and may you remember me should again we see

so before i bade my silent goodbye
have me the final glimpse of your genuine smile
the happiness you gave me i cannot deny
i thank you even it was just for a while

so i packed my bags and readied to leave
my heart may be aching it may be in grieve
but life goes on and so must we
now i am ready to face my new story

goodbye to you my cherished angels

reclusive

i am now alone
literally alone

and for this reason
i have realized a lot of things
a lot of things

i am a person of no good
there are times that all i want to do is scream
scream with all my voice
until i can scream no more

some times, all i want to do is run and fly
feel free and touch the sky
even though i am not a swimmer
i wish to swim in the ocean
and explore the beauty it possess

indeed, John Mayer is right
"I am invincible, i am invincible,
i am invincible, as long as i am alive"
and i thank God for giving me such strength
should i die, may my invincibility
be passed through to those people
who are slowly dying and feeling so hopeless

the world is a heaven
it just depends on you
it depends on me
the world is a heaven
we just need to open our eyes
and take a see
the world is a heaven as God had created it

This is not a poem whatsoever
this is just an expression of freedom
an expression of self-liberation
of self-emancipation
and breaking the rules of grammar
is just like flying with the eagles in the sky
like running with the lions in the wild
and swimming with the sharks in the sea

I am free
I am feeling wild and free
I am free
and i just love the feeling of being free
I am free
and i thank God for freeing me
I am free
and i am having the greatest time of my life
no problems, no strife

And for the last verse,
This will not be a terse
I just had finished screaming
I just had finished shouting
It's fun to be crazy
It's fun to be carried away by insanity
After composing this whatever-you-may-want-to-call-it
I will be back in the world of the "sane"
I will speak, i will talk just like them
I may act like them, but hope not to think like them

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On 09 September 2006, I was with myself feeling so lonely and worthless. Once again, I questioned the essence of my existence and then prayed for my death. I was crying so hard at the rooftop as I could no longer contain the agony my heart is bearing. I did not realize I fell asleep. I woke up at around 3 in the morning wherein I decided to go down to my bedroom. The next day, I attended a meeting for the preparation of a city-wide activity. A collaboration with SK Davao. After the meeting, which was held at The Royale House, my YMCA friends and I returned to the office for another meeting. While the meeting was going on, I received an SMS from a friend. I could not believe what I just have read. Although we've never been able to spend more time with each other after our graduation, I still considered her as one of my good friends, as she was the only one who had the courage to tell me that I don't look neat and that my clothes appear shabby because of my carelessness. Still in disbelief, Noel called the funeral home where they say her remains were laid. After which, it was confirmed that she died. I was shocked and fell speechless. She would be celebrating her 20th birthday on the 11th but she left a day sooner.

To a friend who would never be able to read this:

I didn't know:
While i was writing of death,
You were fighting with it.
Though I've got to admit,
that time was able to separate us,
however time was not able to erase
the memories we had shared together.

The last time i saw your lovely face
You were eating with your college friends
In your favorite fast food chain
You smiled; I was glad
Never knowing
That it would be the last
And seeing you would be possible no longer

Should i cry now?
Or should i just give my gregarious smile?
I don't know exactly where you are.
You're no different to a distant star.
May your soul be rest in peace
May the people you had left be at ease
Sleep now dear, sleep now deep.

Shalom old friend, shalom.
Cry no more, tears no more.
Our time right now is over,
Yet may our memories live forever.
Should we meet in another lifetime,
May we have the same regard
May our lives be still in rhyme.


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In the stillness of the day
I have seen you danced the sway
My being was filled with wonder
Who is this unexpected stranger?

My face was marked with frown
To loneliness I am always bound
I have hated the world and the world hated me
What more could be the worst, oh death be with me!

Yet you smiled and encouraged me
“This world may be meaningless but its lovely”
I did not believe you at first,
I was cynical, I am cursed.

But when the clouds parted ways,
I was indignant, I was dazed.
I tried to avoid it, I shut my door
This couldn’t be, I am tore.

Burned out, I decided to stop.
I couldn’t run anymore, I have to drop.
I was bitter, joy was tasteless
I have to acquiesce, I am powerless.

Acceptance was never easy,
But this is my reality.
Conceding with the Almighty,
Finally, I am breaking free.


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