Broken Core
Posted: 11 December 2011 by Unknown in Labels: acceptance, broken heart, defeat, myself, pain, realization, romantic love, solitude
This is me.
A cup of coffee
In a chilly evening
Along with the melody
Of the rain pouring.
Ah, 'tis life!
What a bliss,
Beauty in rife
None should amiss!
Not the coldness,
Nor the disquietude,
Fill the emptiness
But with beautitude.
As the star is its own,
And so is humanity;
That must be sown
Not only individuality.
One sip towards serenity,
Let it be the pleasure;
Away from the vanity,
From the so-called treasure
Hear now the rain
Be with its ease;
Listen not with vain,
And it shall cease.
Feel the wind,
Breathe the air;
Do not be pinned,
By the bare.
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keep the music flowing
energy invigorating
taking back my life
out from the strife
as the lyrics hit the notes
the soul within me floats
leaving everything behind
as they retrieve my mind
letting the thought speaks out loud
letting it go against the crowd
as the music goes louder and louder
the fire in me is getting stronger and stronger
dancing to the rhythm of reality
harmony seeping into my individuality
yes, this is how it should be..
life is music, life is free!
^_^
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What is more tragic
Than being judged
For what you think
Not even the logic
Could ever budge
What's on the brink
When one refuses to see
What is behind reality
And all its mystery
Just leave it be
And let it be
For it is the destiny
When superficialities encompass
The perspective of a being
Blinded by the worldliness
One could never surpass
The obstacles of living
In profound senselessness
If one does not conform
With the standards and the rules
Set by human perception
It is not the eye of the storm
That really pulls
The dull convention
What is unfathomable
Will be and always will be
Better left unanswered
One will soon be able
Find the veracity
Of what has been tampered
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the riddle of resolution
left me one question
was it worth the risk?
marked by brisk
the wonders of romantically inclined
with their emotions declined
was it the work of magic
that led them to tragic
wandering souls then lovers
she cries while he quivers
yet it was not enough
for it could be a bluff
the pain, i reckon
might be the reason
that holds them
in their stem
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emptiness haunts
as reality flaunts
when will i learn
stop the yearn?
nothing’s new
still in grayed hue
insecurities widening
courage faltering
yet…
the rain continues
smearing their views
the rain comforts
reorganizing all sorts
when did the rain halt
after the storm’s assault
left me crying over the rainbow
where will i go?
can you see it?
can you feel it?
can you hear it?
can you sense it?
the rain piercing my heart
tormenting the part
is it self-inflicted?
or thought-incited?
let me weep in silent
as the rain could not prevent
let me die in secret
while the rain is not set
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as i stand under the naked tree
waiting for you to come to me
i realized i have learned to defy
your goodness by and by
i sit down and waited for your fall
all the memories i tried to recall
you feel for me when i couldn't do it anymore
yet i have chosen to forget and worst closed the door
i watch as i hear your coming
amazed by the mystery you bring
you came then you fell
i remorse but no one could tell
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Underneath the shadows lie the reality of life
Which created the chaos you think you hide
The light of darkness passed you through with no strife
Thus in the end in misery you abide
You cradled your tears with hands closed
You took your journey with heart stoned
Yet you wonder why the world had posed
Animosity you forgotten you have honed
Let alone the life behind you
For atonement may nowhere to be seen
Just breathe and acquiesce to what seems to be true
Let go and then die with sheen
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the night fell on
yet the clock's still ticking
will you throw the baton
and never mind me peeping
let the wind touch my face
and lull me to sleepin'
would you set into place
in the heart of linen
but the nocturns gave it up
as they fear it's all pointless
with all means dead drop
and the effort becomes worthless
when you get all crossed
and the matter turns ambiguous
you tripped then you paused
the music is now ubiquitous
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comforter
when the rain fill the holes
what would become of me?
not loneliness nor desolation
not even reclusion neither isolation
shall bring me redemption
the chilling winds of the rain
increasing the strain
will they be able to recognize me
should reality unmasks my identity
do forgive me
i am not what i am supposed to be
the rain had failed to cover me
stripping me off my little dignity
which i left hanging in mystery
would it be just
if i blame it all to the wind?
or how about the rain,
my comforter
my consoler
who deserted me
in the time of my need
the rain illuminates
casting a gloomy shadow
the veracity it dictates
is being hoed by the bow
strangling me to death
depriving me of my fantasy
my fantasy of reality
my fantasy of existence
my fantasy of innocence
it is nonsense
everything is nothing but meaningless
am i not the student
of the teacher who is wise but powerless
let alone gullibility
let alone luxury
let alone immaturity
let alone invincibility
can you hear the pitter-patter
of my cries of hopes and anger
can you see the tears
of my selfishness and fears
it is hard to accept
yet acceptance is the last piece
for the puzzle of bliss
but completion is a dream
of the unruffled stream
the clouds of dark met the light
but the rain hadn't stopped
go on with eternal fight
and let the rain be cupped
with remorse and regret
breathe and i shall be freed
from this anxiety i bleed
pour down but don't wash away
let my pathetic traces stay
as it is my greatest masterpiece
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every decisions we create in our head
we let go with our hands
some are born out of nowhere
while others are crafted inside the womb of a mother
every memories we cherish in our hearts
we liberate in our brain
some are designed in the mist of clouds
while others are seated in the barren grounds
we sometimes blame fate for what had occured
forgetting what we had contributed
we sometimes ignore our naivety
and conclude stupidity and impulsiveness
we sometimes overlook every dots in the pieces
thus others seem not to fit
we opt not to remember every bit of the puzzle
thinking someday it would be all complete
every path we have taken
we often lock inside a chest
some keys we have thrown away
while others we carry every day
every actions we undertook
we bring about the wind
others have become so chilling
while some have become smothering
we sometimes leave the marks on sorrow
thinking misery would be free
we sometimes despise the outcome
thus survival become wan
the darkness of the cloud
the coldness of the night
the selfishness of the tree
the insipidity of the air
we sometimes tend to regress
thinking we had actually progressed
we sometimes tend to be blinded
thinking we have been emancipated
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Dedicated to my colleagues at YMCA. The poem was written after realizing that sometimes space is important in a bond in order to make it stronger, one just have to accept it notwithstanding the pain of living life apart. Besides, friendship is not just all about being together, it's all about being one at heart despite distance.
sadness fills me in
as nostalgia breathes the air
memories we all built together
came back to me all of a sudden
sweet laughter, bitter tears
it seems not like yesteryears
broken dreams, shattered promises
we never ceased in putting back the pieces
we aimed high
we reached far
but as the time passed by
we became distant as the star
i looked back
but you weren't there
i retraced the track
and found my own despair
as you were moving on
i was drifting away
as i was feeling alone
you were dancing in gay
yet i never stopped wishing
and never failed reminiscing
but the memories we created together
is now starting to quiver
as the agony struck my heart
as i watch our worlds being torn apart
the pain i bear became excruciating
yet i smiled and began accepting
everything changes and so are we
may you find peace and serenity
may the bliss be with you as you trudge your own journey
and may you remember me should again we see
so before i bade my silent goodbye
have me the final glimpse of your genuine smile
the happiness you gave me i cannot deny
i thank you even it was just for a while
so i packed my bags and readied to leave
my heart may be aching it may be in grieve
but life goes on and so must we
now i am ready to face my new story
goodbye to you my cherished angels
Dear Diary,
I was crying in my sleep last night
Someone broke my heart and i can't think right
I should have known I've been fool from the start
Now my world has fallen apart
Dear Diary,
I've been thinking of him everyday
He blocks my memory in every way
People began wondering if i am okay
I fake a smile and pretended to be gay
Dear Diary,
I couldn't believe this is happening to me
I haven't even seen him in my reality
How could this be, please help me please
My mind and my heart couldn't be at ease
Dear Diary,
I am now throwing my tears away
Yet the pain remains and forever it will stay
The anguish and agony is killing me softly
And it's just so sad cause my suffering he couldn't see
Dear Diary,
I have realized that i have to let go
Even though it hurts me but my heart needs so
I have cried a river and my tears seem to linger
But i know i'll be okay for forever's not forever
Dear Diary,
The rain's been pouring for a week now
And this time i am ready to take my bow
The show is over and i have to move on
I know it would be hard but i have to carry on
Dear Diary,
I heard Nina singing a song for me
"Someday, someone's gonna love me
The way i wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day, i'll forget about you
You see, i won't even miss you
Someday, someday"
And now, i am set for a new day
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reclusive
i am now alone
literally alone
and for this reason
i have realized a lot of things
a lot of things
i am a person of no good
there are times that all i want to do is scream
scream with all my voice
until i can scream no more
some times, all i want to do is run and fly
feel free and touch the sky
even though i am not a swimmer
i wish to swim in the ocean
and explore the beauty it possess
indeed, John Mayer is right
"I am invincible, i am invincible,
i am invincible, as long as i am alive"
and i thank God for giving me such strength
should i die, may my invincibility
be passed through to those people
who are slowly dying and feeling so hopeless
the world is a heaven
it just depends on you
it depends on me
the world is a heaven
we just need to open our eyes
and take a see
the world is a heaven as God had created it
This is not a poem whatsoever
this is just an expression of freedom
an expression of self-liberation
of self-emancipation
and breaking the rules of grammar
is just like flying with the eagles in the sky
like running with the lions in the wild
and swimming with the sharks in the sea
I am free
I am feeling wild and free
I am free
and i just love the feeling of being free
I am free
and i thank God for freeing me
I am free
and i am having the greatest time of my life
no problems, no strife
And for the last verse,
This will not be a terse
I just had finished screaming
I just had finished shouting
It's fun to be crazy
It's fun to be carried away by insanity
After composing this whatever-you-may-want-to-call-it
I will be back in the world of the "sane"
I will speak, i will talk just like them
I may act like them, but hope not to think like them
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hay naku, grabe na ito
sadyang napakagulo ng mundo
paulit-ulit na lamang ang mga nangyayari
pakiramdam ko, lahat ay wala nang silbi
tinanong ko sa Diyos kung ano ang saysay ko
matagal bago ko nakuha ang sagot ko
napangiti na lamang ako sa aking tinuran
ano bang karapatan kong magtanong sa Maykapangyahiran?
madalas noon ako ay takot
nahihirapan, laging nakabaluktot
tinanong ko ang Diyos kung bakit nagkaganoon
bakit ba ayaw kong huminahon?
wala lang akong magawa kaya ako gumagawa ng tula
subalit hindi ibig sabihin na ako ay ganap nang makata
pinanganak akong katambal ang ligaya at luha
at natutunan kong kumuha nang lakas sa mga salita
hindi ko na alam kung ano ang isusunod
basta ang alam ko ngayon ako ay malugod
at ito ay dahil sa aking Diyos Ama
na pinapahalagahan pa rin ako sa kabila ng aking mga nagawa
walangmagawa2908061136
Oh Rain please fall down today
Please fall down so that my pain be washed away
Let me hear you splatter on the ground
So that serenity i may found
Oh Rain please fall down today
Don't let this feeling stay
Give me freedom, give me peace
Put my being into ease
I have been gloomy for quite some time
I can't unravel the perfect rhyme
Oh please dear Rain, fall down on me
Console my weary soul, comfort me
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