Certified Poem Addict

guard my heart, shield my soul
oh my dear self, keep thy control
as the pain ascends
and bursts out in the open
guard my heart, shield my soul
please my dear self, keep thy control

hope may have left, and you in bereft
your invincibility had already been patent
so smile amidst the inevitable dire
eventually you'd get through the wire



1707moveon112108fr

as these regrets chase me in the darkness
i wait for the rain to come and wash me
as i save myself from this foolishness
i wonder if i can still reclaim the sanity

so let the rain fall despite the silence
it is its tour de force in this broken world
let the rain fall and revert my existence
so that from these odds I would be hurdled

another cycle, another history repeating
yet the learning has never been grasped
perhaps the reason for my heart breaking
when will the yearning be clasped?

hush, my rain; yes my dear, hush
it was not my intention to fall to the trap
yes dear rain, i will refrain from being slush
just help me get out from this mishap

it's the quarter now and i have to calm down
it is no use drying my eyes with these tears
i should let go of the hurt and get rid of the frown
it's time to burn now the hopes and the fears

so where do i go and what should i do?
these are the questions i prefer to unshackle
i have gone tired of the blue
i am now leaving the pinnacle


171414rain'squarter110731

Raincheck please, raincheck.

As this head of mine are filled with questions,
Slowly I am devoured by my self-preservations.

Thus here I am beseeching thee an inquiry:
If affection and destiny would not coincide,
I ask thee --- where dost thou think I should abide?

As I let these tears of mine wash away yours,
Would you care to accompany me in this course?
But why is it that you are fading away from me,
Tell me, is this really how it should meant to be?

Oh no! You just did not know ---
Thoughts of you are now imprinting a smile on my face,
A memory which I don't think I can dare to erase.
It may be so senseless, yet I think it would be my grace -
To be with you, together with me, in that sweet embrace.

But raincheck dear, I beg thee raincheck.
Why am I retreating, I can sense a coming wreck.
I can hear it within, I can hear it loud and clear,
My cynicism's surfacing inflaming the fear.
Oh why, oh why? 'Tis horror is chasing me.
I wonder if I can bear it; let me see, let me see.

With these vexations, I pause and I stop.
I don't think it's possible, I fall and I drop.
Was it you, was it me, or was the feeling just a fancy
It's time for me, I guess, to let go of this fantasy.
So I decided to walk towards my solitude,
Praying and wishing for my own fortitude:
Sooner or later, I will be granted beatitude.

As I trudge alone this rocky journey,
Along the road I have found a key.
At first I was wounded then I was terrified,
How could I ever abandon the little of my pride?
So I asked for Death to be mine for a while
So that I can be freed but not from this life
Liberated from the assumptions that I've been breathing for this time
Assumptions that will surely bring me to my own demise

With messed up thoughts and messed up emotions
I am too ashamed to look at my ruined reflections
I have committed a crime which is too grim for mercy
A crime I have committed which now pulls me back to misery
So this is the phase where I hate myself much
How could I ever concede with the touch?
I have betrayed myself, an act so deleterious
An embarassment that is too grave and serious
Oh no! This is too dangerous!

So raincheck dear, raincheck.
Lest my body will be laid down on that tormented deck.
I plea for the rain to come and be hurry
For only the rain can wash away this idiocy.
As I gather myself from this tremendous fall,
I am now more aware that I can't really have it all.
It's sad, true, absolutely catastrophic!
But no, no --- there will never be a magic.
To my fateful life, save me but not from the tragedy
But from the certainty of my preordained folly.


214805Raincheckforandtwenty110727

as glum as the weather
how can it be?
the feeling of despair
strengthens the melancholy

tis already a familiar phase
a road by now had been taken
only this time is a new face
perhaps a lesson would be ascertain

with this, i breathe my sigh
for soon it'll be outdone
oh when the pain is drawing nigh
but no, it will never go beyond



203057myinsecurities200711

A cup of coffee
In a chilly evening
Along with the melody
Of the rain pouring.

Ah, 'tis life!
What a bliss,
Beauty in rife
None should amiss!

Not the coldness,
Nor the disquietude,
Fill the emptiness
But with beautitude.

As the star is its own,
And so is humanity;
That must be sown
Not only individuality.

One sip towards serenity,
Let it be the pleasure;
Away from the vanity,
From the so-called treasure

Hear now the rain
Be with its ease;
Listen not with vain,
And it shall cease.

Feel the wind,
Breathe the air;
Do not be pinned,
By the bare.



043410coffee+rain=23260211

This fleeting sensation
Although very shallow
Has cast a confusion
With a very great blow

Despite the complexity
I proceeded unguarded
Hence the melancholy
I, myself, inflicted

What an obvious end!
What a pitiful tragedy!
Nothing new in the trend
Thus the same misery

So I pray for the rainfall
Wash away the stupidity
I just think I stand tall
And reclaim my dignity


122732shame180211br

What is more tragic
Than being judged
For what you think
Not even the logic
Could ever budge
What's on the brink
When one refuses to see
What is behind reality
And all its mystery
Just leave it be
And let it be
For it is the destiny
When superficialities encompass
The perspective of a being
Blinded by the worldliness
One could never surpass
The obstacles of living
In profound senselessness
If one does not conform
With the standards and the rules
Set by human perception
It is not the eye of the storm
That really pulls
The dull convention
What is unfathomable
Will be and always will be
Better left unanswered
One will soon be able
Find the veracity
Of what has been tampered


300310judged1148rm5kfrh

it's November once again
it was way back when
the heart was filled with love
and it couldn't seem to be enough

but when December's coldness came
Forever was cut short then became
the heart was filled with pain
there was laughter in the rain

when the dream turned into reality
there was pureness in felicity
when the reality turned back to nightmare
the heartache was too much to bear

as the ache seems to disappear
everything is becoming to clear
letting go is the only way
for the memories to stay

i seek no more for veracity
leaving it to mystery
a thought i wish to remain
as i go along with the most wonderful pain

0418memory181109br

so many frustrations
so little gratifications
what is the use of ratification
when everything is a rejection

hush for a moment
silence for a while
seek for fulfillment
even in a smile

it was not supposed to be
despite the treachery
blame not the misery
for thy own catastrophe

hush for a moment
silence for a while
leave the contentment
start to beguile


1227delude111109kfcncccmall

your cold shoulders
giving me the chills
your replies in terse
undoing all the seals

you have pulled the trigger
now you are holding back
you left me to hover
until i finally lost track

or

could

it

be

that...


my cold shoulders
gave you the chills
my replies in terse
have undone the seals

but i tried to reach out,
yet you make me felt unseen
i have even let go of the doubt
hence, my pain is very keen

so i wish...

for the rain to fall
to heal my heart
to lose it all
for a brand new start

so for the moment...
i will just...

drop a tear
to wash away the pain
embrace the fear
until i meet the rain

goodbye sweet love
'til then
goodbye dear love
never again

i drop
rain fall


185221strainfall210309

I have written this poem the night after having a fun time with team Oakland Athletics. I don't know what prompted me to write this when I was feeling so cheerful before I came home. Few days after, we received a disheartening and saddening news from our team captain --- he will be transferred to another team. Although we were supposed to be proud and happy for him because it was actually a promotion but we just could not stop feeling so lonely knowing that he will be leaving us.

eventually, our paths will part
eventually, our tears will fall
eventually, we'll seek for the start
eventually, we'll lose it all


eventually, the longing will fade
eventually, the fate will be accepted
eventually, we'll forget the shade
eventually, we'll become wretched


the irony of meeting you in me
i wished for the world to stop
the irony of living in reality
i wished for the rain to drop


the pain of building friendship
the pain of building love
the pain that we have to keep
the pain of the above


eventually, everything will pass
eventually, the lesson will be learn
eventually, we will surpass
eventually, we will be stern


110209eventually1257

as i stand under the naked tree
waiting for you to come to me
i realized i have learned to defy
your goodness by and by

i sit down and waited for your fall
all the memories i tried to recall
you feel for me when i couldn't do it anymore
yet i have chosen to forget and worst closed the door

i watch as i hear your coming
amazed by the mystery you bring
you came then you fell
i remorse but no one could tell



080615raincoliation1848la

the night fell on
yet the clock's still ticking
will you throw the baton
and never mind me peeping

let the wind touch my face
and lull me to sleepin'
would you set into place
in the heart of linen

but the nocturns gave it up
as they fear it's all pointless
with all means dead drop
and the effort becomes worthless

when you get all crossed
and the matter turns ambiguous
you tripped then you paused
the music is now ubiquitous



0213insomniac160108h

thoughts tremble
fears nimble
past haunting
life daunting

where does your pride hide?
when everything seems not to coincide
was it really over when it is not
is giving up all you got?

along the restrained menagerie
you slip in the pit of jeopardy
compromising your dignity
just to fit in in the world of hypocrisy

faith shaken
body beaten
blind-sided
ways divided

where does your conscience go?
when your paces are becoming slow
was deviation your last alternative
is that how you wanted to live?

underneath the black sunshine
you gave in to the false divine
forgetting the promises of eternity
just to get on with temporal glee

frustrations flooding
disappointments oozing
heavens decrying
world tempting

where does your acumen lies?
when your sound judgment shies
was concealing your final resort
is dying your real comfort?

beyond the forlorn horizon
you walked in with full desparation
accepting the doomed state
just to end up the unfinished fate


1517defeated271207kb

Dedicated to my colleagues at YMCA. The poem was written after realizing that sometimes space is important in a bond in order to make it stronger, one just have to accept it notwithstanding the pain of living life apart. Besides, friendship is not just all about being together, it's all about being one at heart despite distance.

sadness fills me in
as nostalgia breathes the air
memories we all built together
came back to me all of a sudden

sweet laughter, bitter tears
it seems not like yesteryears
broken dreams, shattered promises
we never ceased in putting back the pieces

we aimed high
we reached far
but as the time passed by
we became distant as the star

i looked back
but you weren't there
i retraced the track
and found my own despair

as you were moving on
i was drifting away
as i was feeling alone
you were dancing in gay

yet i never stopped wishing
and never failed reminiscing
but the memories we created together
is now starting to quiver

as the agony struck my heart
as i watch our worlds being torn apart
the pain i bear became excruciating
yet i smiled and began accepting

everything changes and so are we
may you find peace and serenity
may the bliss be with you as you trudge your own journey
and may you remember me should again we see

so before i bade my silent goodbye
have me the final glimpse of your genuine smile
the happiness you gave me i cannot deny
i thank you even it was just for a while

so i packed my bags and readied to leave
my heart may be aching it may be in grieve
but life goes on and so must we
now i am ready to face my new story

goodbye to you my cherished angels